The Fiver | Bad news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head | Football

The Fiver | Bad news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head | Football
The Fiver | Bad news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head | Football

The Fiver | Bad news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head | Football


In excellent news for the ones people preferring to look at soccer with out being being instructed to “‘ave a bang on that” through some growling cockney earlier than, throughout and after each fit, on-line bookies have agreed to a voluntary, self-imposed ban on promoting throughout all are living sports activities excluding horse-racing so as to cope with considerations about their affect on youngsters. Specifically the ones hundreds of youngsters who’ve evolved playing addictions regardless of no longer being legally sufficiently old to position bets; addictions that have been virtually undoubtedly fostered throughout the relentless publicity of those youngsters to the advertisements venal bookies have in the end been shamed into admitting don’t seem to be appropriate for youngsters.

Naturally, the transfer spells unhealthy news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head, the men from Paddy Power’s crushingly unfunny “banter” division and more than a few folks paid to unfold the phrase that dropping piles of money you won’t if truth be told have on carrying occasions is superb amusing. Weirdly, it used to be the bookies themselves who got here up with the proposal, in a transfer no longer solely dissimilar to turkeys vote casting for Christmas. Or, because the self-appointed, animal-friendly Peta idiom police may counsel, Torquay floating on citrus. Shed no tears, they gained’t pass hungry at the again of an extraordinary and commendable transfer virtually undoubtedly calculated in a bid to fix probably the most hideous, self-inflicted PR harm led to through their unsuccessful, faulty stance in combating in opposition to the reduce in most stakes on fixed-odds having a bet terminals.

“With over 430,000 problem gamblers in the country, many of them children, the number of adverts during live sports had clearly reached crisis levels,” stated Labour’s deputy chief Tom Watson, who regardless of no longer being a gambler famously misplaced 100 kilos prior to now two years. “There was clear public support for these restrictions and I’m glad that for once the industry, led by the Remote Gambling Association, has taken its responsibilities seriously and listened.” Needless to mention, the ones people who nonetheless revel in a flutter at the footy can proceed to lose the shirts off our backs as we see have compatibility, whilst the advertisements plastered around the shirts on such a lot of footballers’ backs will stay in position to remind those that don’t essentially really feel forced to “get involved” that the choice is all the time there.


“You used to have to chat a bird up but now you can just swipe left or right on Tinder. It’s the way life is. Nobody’s got any patience any more” – Modern Man(sfield Town) supervisor David Flitcroft at the odd dating between his task safety and Tinder.


1 December: “River Plate reject the change of venue. Argentine football as a whole and the Argentine Football Association cannot and should not allow a handful of violent [fans] to impede the Superclásico taking place in our country” – River Plate wholeheartedly reject the speculation of taking part in the not on time 2d leg of the Copa Libertadores in Madrid.

6 December:¡Hola, Madrid!

the fiver bad news for ray winstones massive disembodied head football - The Fiver | Bad news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head | Football

¡Madrid, child! Photograph: Javier Barbancho/Reuters


Football Weekly Extraaaaaaa will probably be someplace round right here.


Big Website has offered phase 3 of its checklist of the most efficient 100 feminine footballers on this planet. In affiliation with The Offside Rule podcast we now have assembled a panel of 72 judges from all over the world to fee the avid gamers who’ve stood out in 2018. Read Nos 100-11 now.


Producing the Guardian’s considerate, in-depth journalism [the stuff not normally found in this email, obviously – Fiver Ed] is pricey, however supporting us isn’t. If you worth our journalism, please make stronger us. In go back we will be able to with a bit of luck arm you with the type of wisdom that makes you sound quite much less uninformed throughout the ones scorching reactive gegenpress chats you so revel in. And when you suppose what we do is pleasing [again, etc and so on – Fiver Ed], please lend a hand us stay coming again right here to provide you with extra of the similar.


“Wait! The kitchen at Crystal Palace has a rodent downside whilst the membership employs considered one of nature’s maximum fearsome predators in Kayla the American bald eagle? Then once more, their different famend predator, the lesser-spotted Christian Benteke, scored 15 targets in his first season, however has additionally suffered from clipped-wings syndrome ever since” – Justin Kavanagh.

1544113783 768 the fiver bad news for ray winstones massive disembodied head football - The Fiver | Bad news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head | Football

Perhaps no longer this eagle. Photograph: Julian Finney/Getty Images

“Thanks for the link to the Crystal Palace story and their mouse problem. Maybe you should rename yourself The Fievel …” – Antony.

“Seeing any individual no longer get the Pope’s O’Rangers gag (Wednesday’s letters) used to be like going again in time to a wistful ‘funny’ Fiver generation. I need to make a tortured Brexit comic story however it’s no longer humorous to any extent further. Which makes me need to make a tortured Fiver Not Funny gag. Etc” – Justin Kavanagh once more.

Send your letters to [email protected]. And you’ll all the time tweet The Fiver by means of @guardian_sport. Today’s winner of our letter o’the day is Justin Kavanagh, who wins a duplicate of The Transfer Market: The Inside Stories through Alan Gernon, and we’ve were given extra to provide away this week!


A consultant on West Ham’s newly shaped Official Supporters’ Board has positioned the membership in a clumsy place after expressing make stronger for the Democratic Football Lads Alliance, a bunch condemned through anti-racism campaigners.

Tottenham’s Danny Rose thinks Wembley Stadium is pants. “It’s lost its … I don’t feel it’s an honour to play at Wembley. We’re all itching to get in the new stadium and hopefully it’s not too much longer,” he doesn’t-know-he’s-born-ed.

Monaco v Nice is considered one of 4 Ligue 1 suits to be postponed this weekend because of the gilets jaunes protests, which means supervisor Thierry Henry’s reunion with Patrick Vieira is on ice, child.

1544113783 553 the fiver bad news for ray winstones massive disembodied head football - The Fiver | Bad news for Ray Winstone’s massive disembodied head | Football

Find any individual who seems to be at you and so forth and so forth. Photograph: Stuart Macfarlane/Rex/Shutterstock

Reading’s Paul Clement is now simply Paul Clement after being howitzered throughout the door marked Do One.

Maurizio Sarri has puzzled his avid gamers after Chelsea’s 2-1 defeat to Wolves, with a house recreation in opposition to leaders Manchester City arising on Saturday night. “I am really worried,” he smoked.

José Mourinho has denied he’s below force following the 2-2 at house to Arsenal. “I am not under siege, not at all,” he stated, bolting close a big iron door.

And ICYMI, Killy are best of fitba!


Ed Aarons on gifted piano participant and new Southampton supervisor Ralph Hasenhüttl, who as soon as spent a summer time on his mountain motorcycle spying on Borussia Dortmund’s and Borussia Mönchengladbach’s coaching camps with a couple of binoculars.

The response to Ada Hegerberg’s Ballon d’Or echoes the category she displays on pitch, writes Eni Aluko.

Martin Laurence doesn’t personal any binoculars however has centered his gaze on Paco Alcácer, the striker this is too excellent to start out for Dortmund.

“Someone tell Jonathan that the ‘drip, drip, drip’ thing is really very cringey,” the highest remark reads in this Manchester United column, through floating-brain-in-a-jar Jonathan Wilson.

It’s been a combined yr for Adil Rami. He gained the World Cup, were given in conjunction with Pamela Anderson however can’t prevent Marseille dropping – six of the ultimate 9 have led to defeat. Adam White and Eric Devin examine (the Marseille bit).

This week’s Classic YouTube includes a goal-line clearance from a stray canine, Ballon d’Or winner Ada Hegerberg striking it within the onion bag and Kevin Keegan dancing.

Oh, and if it’s your factor … you’ll observe Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, TOO!



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here